“All right,” said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
“Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
“So we can believe the big ones?”
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
“They’re not the same at all!”
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME…SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—”
MY POINT EXACTLY
Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.
There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones with riders on them. There is said to be a code in the number and placement of the horse’s hooves: If one of the horse’s hooves is in the air, the rider was wounded in battle; two legs in the air means the rider was killed in battle; three legs in the air indicates the rider got lost on the way to battle; and four legs in the air means the that the sculptor was very, very clever. Five legs in the air means that there’s probably at least one horse standing behind the horse you’re looking at; and the rider lying on the ground with his horse lying on top of him with all four legs in the air means that the rider was either a very incompetent horseman or owned a very bad-tempered horse.
(via sirterrypratchett)
Source: justjohn-jj
- Death: ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.
- Susan: Oh...
- Death: THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON.
- Susan: Ah...
- Death: IT WAS NOT AL ALL CO-OPERATIVE.
Source: delkios
502. Do not seek perfection. None exists. All we can do is strive. (submitted by msbarrows)
495. There’s no point in having underlings if you don’t let them be the first to go through suspicious doors.
484. If you see a skull with endless blue eyes, you’ve reached the end. There is no more cake. (But there may be kittens.) (submitted by nandineed)
Top 5 favorite Michelle Dockery characters: #2. Susan Sto Helit (The Hogfather)
- “And then Jack chopped down what was the world’s last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant’s children didn’t have a daddy any more. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done. Which proves that you can be excused just about anything if you’re a hero, because no-one asks inconvenient questions.”
(via etosaurus)
Source: oswald-souffle
456. Stopping a battle is much harder than starting it. Starting it only requires you to shout ‘Attack!’, but when you want to stop it, everyone is busy.
443. The graveyards are full of people who rushed in bravely but unwisely.
415. Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.
A perpetually exhausted university student living in Texas who spends her extra time piddling around the internets
